Words

The words "I miss you" can not display
The depths of how I care.

The words "I want you" do not betray
The extent of what I dare.

The words "I need you" can not convey
The extent of my prayer.

The words "I love you" do not portray
The heights of my err.

Crush Into Love

The first time I saw you,
I knew you were the one.
There was no question in my mind,
that we would have so much fun.

There was just something about you,
that I've never found before.
And now that we're good friends,
I find myself wanting more.

I never thought it would possible,
to again care for one so much.
But everyday that passes,
I long to feel your touch.

To look into your eyes,
would make my day complete,
cause every time you look at me,
my heart just skips a beat.

Everything I'd wished for,
every dream I'd hope come true,
I never thought would happen,
until the day that I saw you.

I know that your not ready,
for the kind of commitment that I am,
but for you I'd wait forever,
there's nothing I can't stand.

Although it hurts to know,
that you don't feel the same as me,
hopefully one day you'll realize,
one day you'll wake up and see.

Neglected

Time passes by
As tears I alone cry
Feeling sorrow deep
Sensations I seem to keep
Alone in my darkness I wallow
With words of yesterday hard to swallow
Wondering what I did wrong
Why can’t I be strong
The pain inside creeps slow
As these tears continue to flow
Feeling neglected in everyway
Will love ever be mine to stay
Needing to know he cares
No feeling he ever shares
Am I lost in a world so dark
Without love giving any spark
Why must I cry in the night
Pleading for arms to hold me tight
Must I wallow in this loneliness
Begging for any kind of closeness
Alone in my sadness I weep
Bitterness down inside so deep
Wanting to feel alive and free
Yet neglect is all I see
Why must I shed another tear
As time passes from day to year
Leaving me in isolation
Could this be my only destination
To feel unloved and unneeded in everyway
Neglected is what I feel each day
Wake me from this darkened state
Show me the life upon which I can’t wait
Give me peace and love to feel
Yet neglect is all so real
Crying these tears that won’t stop
My pillow catches ever drop
In this bed of loneliness I stay
As I beg for love to take me away

Locked in a jar

Does the one who loves you know who you are? She needs a real man not just a facade. Don't keep your heart locked away in a jar. Not being open she'll think you're a fraud. She longs to share every part of herself. She needs a real man not just a facade. Your heart is out of reach on that old shelf. Where she can see it but it's out of reach. She longs to share every part of herself. But you hold onto her just like a leach. In the glass jar it looks so very clear. Where she can see it but it's out of reach. If you open it what is there to fear? Are there dark spots you don't want her to see? In the glass jar it looks so very clear. Is it that you're afraid that she will flee? Why won't you reveal every part of you? Are there dark spots you don't want her to see? There are some good men, be one of the few. It's time to reveal every part of you. Help the one who loves you, know who you are. Don't keep your heart locked away in a jar.

Forbidden Love

Is it possible that an angel and a demon could fall in love? And, remain soul mates for all eternity? Yes, and I will tell you how it happened. Maybe, it was a miracle that they met or maybe it was just meant to be. That an angel fell out of heaven and a demon escaped from hell on the very same day. They saw no one, but each other. Yet, neither had ever seen such a creature. The angel was beautiful and kind. This angel had fallen from heaven a place of light and life, and of hope and peace. The demon was imperfect and shy. This demon had escaped from hell a place of darkness and death, and of despair and pain. When they met, their eyes met. And without a spoken word. The angel saw only tenderness and hurt in this lost demon. The demon saw only compassion and love in this lost angel. It did not matter to them if one had wings, and the other had horns. Yet, they saw themselves within each other. Even though they were from two different worlds. They embraced each other. Though, they knew their love was forbidden by others like themselves. So, they decided to remain here on earth. Where their bond could not be broken. The heart of the angel was no longer filled with loneliness and longing. The heart of the demon was no longer filled with torment and sorrow. Love is what they both were searching for. And it was found on that very same day. A forbidden love, everlasting for all eternity.

At One Time I Loved

I wouldn’t have fallen in love if I knew the price I would have to pay. If I had known how much you’d hurt me. I had trusted you, and you had thrown me to the ground; I wasn’t worthy of you. I tried to be the best I could be for you, but it was never enough. So yes, I did at one time love. But never again; will I allow my heart or mind to experience the trauma you have put me through.

Beautifully Broken

Dark but whole, broken yet sane. Hoping one day love will erase all the pain. Simple and complex, also free with violence on my mind. All that triggers my evil within, making it harder to find. An unknown innocence replaced a twisted side so dark, yet a star is so bright in the sky, and yes even the darkness can’t take it away, and when it should have asked why. A scapegoat with scars from a razor blade that cut across her skin, I will always remain beautifully broken, outside and within.

Depression

The clouds are heavy. They weigh. They darken. They can’t be seen, but they are felt. Oh, how they are felt. A weight that won’t lift. A darkness that won’t brighten. Artificial light, that is the solution. That is their solution. And sadly that is my solution. The clouds cover the mountains before me. They tear mountains down and crumble their very existence. I am a mountain, I am covered, I am torn, I am crumbling. But artificial light that is the answer. Another sleepless night. As the night comes to an end my thoughts polluting my mind I am lost in memories and time. My despair is overwhelming coming undone I’m completely numb. Suffocating in my sadness, drowning in my pain. I feel so empty and hollow I reflect on images of sorrows past. Consumed with madness gasping for air fading into black. I stand alone inside, blinded by tears I can’t hide. This agony I carry inside, my broken soul has died. Does anyone else feel like this? Can anyone understand my demise? Don’t try to look for answers in my eyes as they will deceive you and reflect lies. Have you ever felt so alone when you look around you there is nothing and no one to tell you hey I am here? To live in darkness even in light your blinded because nothing is in sight. And your thoughts smothering you drowning your will to fly. And you scream inside as you silently weep and cry. And every ounce of your soul feeling nothing more than just to die. And you struggle and fight this war you have inside. And all your demons killing you slowly as days and nights go by. These are my dark days that follows into nights. Fighting each new day to overcome this dark place. Can anyone hear me!? Does anyone understand this? I can’t explain it anymore at hand I can’t put my finger on it to comprehend. Good night this is the end as my Mind Whispers “You’ll ruin your life if you start”, as my hand picks up the cutter I always bring, I pray a silent unheard prayer as I shut out the buzzing of spring and slice. “This is stupid! You need to stop!” My mind whispers, as I drag the blade across my arm yet again, watching red start to stain silver as I try not to hiss in pain.

Your fake heart

You think that I can't see. You think you got me. Well let me tell you everything hidden eventually becomes known. And because of this a lot of things I have out grown. Yes that includes you. Since in your fake heart you can never be true.